The real source of stress
Before you launch into any stories about what’s bringing you down - be it money, relationships, health, whatever - take a breath and ask yourself this question:
"What's the real source of my stress?"
Go ahead. Ponder it for a minute. I have time.
It's not what you think it is.
It's not the person, thing, lack of the thing, or too much of the thing.
Those external circumstances always change.
If we give our power away to this, then our level of ease is always dependent on what's happening around us. Don't let the wind knock you over!
The actual source of stress is three fold.
(What many focus on, like a broken record, thinking the answers will somehow emerge there)
NOT KNOWING HOW TO SOLVE THE SITUATION
(Also known as feeling stuck & disempowered)
LACK OF TRUST
(In yourself, in life working out, in others)
➡️ Go to the root, people!
Because the thing is, sometimes situations really do suck and challenge us beyond what we feel we might be capable of. Sometimes, you can't change the actual circumstance. Sometimes, in the moment, you won't know the answer. You have to trust.
When we work together, there is trust.
You trust that somehow I'll be able to guide you, access an answer for you, help create strategies with you. This trust puts you at ease, allows you to be vulnerable and share, gives you hope, and inspires a willingness to connect. Trust.
Let’s consider your body.
You trust you'll continue breathing. That trust is so ingrained in you that you don't even think about your breathing, it just happens. Trust.
Take being alive on planet earth.
You trust life will continue, despite the fact that we are living on a rock in space with a whole series of interconnections you know nothing about, that allow us to function, adapt and even thrive here. You trust on a daily basis that the world won't end today. Trust.
When you're stressed, there is something you're not trusting in. Where could you reestablish trust?
Lack of trust is core to the source of your stress. That's why mindfulness is all the talk these days! Your breath and stillness reminds you to trust.
Up for a challenge?
Flip your script on where you're feeling stuck or stressed.
Instead of "I'm so stressed about __________," or "I don't know what to do about ___________" say this instead:
"I trust that ________________." Fill it in with what you need or want to trust in.
It could be:
"I trust I'll know what to say when I talk to my partner."
"I trust I'll have the money I need by the time I need it."
"I trust I'll be able to fulfill this task to the best of my abilities."
Make it personal to you! Put your specifics in it! Name names! List dates!
Make it real and tangible - the outcome you want and the trust you'll have it.
YOU STILL HAVE TO TAKE RIGHT, STRATEGIC, INTUITIVELY LED ACTION.
Action without trust = STRESS. Trust without action = STRESS. You need both.
Questions? No. My work here is done! 💃