My Build Shifted: When Your Body Becomes the Blueprint for Your Business

For the past few years, I have been in what I call a dip.

No matter how much I tried to move ahead, speak life into my business, connect with new people, it fell flat.

And, it decimated me. I’m not joking or being dramatic. It really, really challenged me more than I anticipated.

Without the movement of my vision, without connection to my path, without a mutual return for what I was putting into the world, depletion set in.

That’s when I realised I was in a co-dependent relationship with my purpose work.

It sounds strange to admit out loud. Yet that’s certainly how it felt.

Most of my life, I searched for my purpose. I’ve always felt an internal pressure and very loud intuition that said “There’s something specific you are supposed to do here.”

It wasn’t just about finding meaning in my work life. That is important, but there was another driver at play. It felt more like a compelling call, or like a destiny that needed to be fulfilled.

So, I set out to discover what the assignment actually was, what was mine to do.

When I was a kid, I’d corner adults and ask what they did for work and if they loved it.

When I was a teenager, I’d ask all my friends what they wanted to do after college for work.

When I was in university, I switched colleges 3 times, switched majors 2x, and took 9 years to graduate.

When I was a working adult, I had multiple jobs and side gigs, perpetually feeling like it “wasn’t quite right.”

I was seeking alignment, grounding, and spiritual contract completion via whatever this purpose work was.

I didn’t realise the degree it was embedded in me. I just knew that I felt unhappy without doing purpose work.

When I finally figured it out, when I had a clear sense of my larger role here on the planet, I attached to it like a koala bear to its mama. I was never ever ever going to let it go. It was who I am, what I’m about, what I stand for.

Until I couldn’t do it.

Enter these past few years…

Once my purpose work clicked into alignment after decades of trial and error, refinement, and recalibration, my health began falling apart. My capacity was reduced. My resiliency compromised. My energy low. Even through my clarity felt highly dialed in, I was left with a deep questioning of who I am outside of what I do.

I know this is something many contend with when they are over-identified with their work role. But this felt beyond that for me. More of a spiritual reckoning, dark night of the soul, and uncomfortable awakening. I had to look at what was in my energetic backpack, so to speak, to see what I had been carrying around that dragged on my health, scrambled my sense of self outside of my purpose work, and slowed down what I know I’m meant for.

It wasn’t easy.

But I’m well versed in transformation, the metaphorical liturgy of the body, and what God is asking of me.

Honestly, I felt like I had little other choice but to enter the fire because the phoenix in me wanted to rise.

So I did.

I want to share with you what transpired, and how it led me to do MY BUILD in a completely different way.

• Teeth issues (broken tooth, infection, cavities on 10 teeth).

• Perimenopause (heat waves, utter fatigue, joints inflammed, weight gain).

• Foot and hip misalignment (couldn’t walk very well for months, even at home).

• Got sick for 6 weeks after going to a public event (coughing all night for 6 weeks straight).

• A 5G hub was put in front of my house, which really threw my energy completely out of whack.

• My estranged mom got in touch, then got out of touch, then back in touch, then died. Hello, grief.

• Aggressive and passive aggressive communication being directed toward me from people I didn’t expect.

There’s a lot more to add to this list, but you get the picture.

As soon as I regained some vitality, another hit came and I was down again.

We all know what it’s like to have something off with our health. That was a struggle, yes. But the most difficult part for me was not being able to do my purpose work. At least not in the way I thought it should go.

I still kept at it. It was my lifeline. Having a vision steadied me. It gave me something to anchor into.

By anyone’s standards, I may have looked like I was still in the game. Leading a Live group and certification program. Posting videos, podcasts, newsletters. Mentoring clients. Just not with the same oomph or frequency.

Something had to change. In my approach. In my structure. In my perspective. In my build.

So I went back to the very stumbling blocks that ruled my world the past few years and saw how they were the exact clues I needed to transform how I was doing my purpose work.

What I stand by, for, and will be speaking on for the rest of my days:

Energy will always show you the way.

Knowing how to look at the underlying energetics at play paired with my faith gave me grace during one of the more challenging seasons of my life. Reading energy is different than getting an intuitive hit. I love and value my intuition, but during this time of my life, it was quieter. A lot quieter. But my energy read, still on point.

The energetics:

Teeth = Structure

I had to look at how I was structuring my business. When I fell apart, it fell apart. It was enmeshed with my presence. If I wasn’t available, it didn’t exist in the same way, couldn’t produce results in the same way, couldn’t impact in the same way. That’s where Soulwork Structure first started to take root, within my own struggles.

Perimenopause = Seasons

We all have different seasons of our lives. Some seasons are barren like winter. Others a summer harvest. This season of my life I have had to pull back from the outer world and simply tend to my body. I had to look at my business not just from a seasonal perspective, but also in conjunction with my natural rhythm. How does my energy naturally want to move with my purpose work? That’s what the structure needed to be based on.

Foot & Hip Misalignment = Feet literally move you forward. Hips hold trauma and govern receiving.

I had to look at what was and wasn’t moving my purpose work forward. To see where I was taking action that wasn’t aligned. I had to dig into what old traumas might have been driving my business, and where I was or wasn’t allowing myself to receive in proportion to what I was putting out there.

Coughing for 6 weeks after attending event

I’m not sure what this one equals, but I can tell you, I did not want to attend this event. I overrode my intuition that said don’t go. The energy didn’t feel right. People were laughing and talking but they felt energetically sick, leaky, something was really off. I had to look at where in my business did I override what I knew to be true.

5G hub completely cracking my energy

The way I look at the energetics of this one is, there are some pieces of this reality that are out of our control. Same goes with our business. No matter the best strategy, most optimised plan, sometimes the unexpected happens and it throws everything off. What’s the backup plan? How do you deal with the curve ball?

My mom, death = Massive grief portal

Talk about undoing all I carried around within me regarding my mom specifically, being a mother, being a daughter, being able to receive and nurture and nourish myself. This has been one of the biggest challenges, healings, and transformations I’ve ever had to go through. I did not realise the degree to which my relationship with her 100% influenced and impacted every single area of my business. I’ve had to recalibrate what it means to nurture my business, to have a healthy relationship with it, to have clear boundaries with it. I’m still in this.

Unexpected aggressive & passive aggressive communication = Boundaries and clarity when I speak

Oooh, this was a biggee in my business. I had to look at where I let myself to be treated poorly and set new standards. Where did I over-give, over-share, over-trust, and over-engage in dynamics that were not mutually respectful? I had to look at all my people pleasing tendencies in my business and ask myself what I was actually fearful of losing if I drew a boundary or spoke up for myself in the way I knew I needed to. But going through this made it absolutely crystal clear on what I do and do not allow with who I work with, connect with, anything with.

This shifted my build.

As the wave of the passed few years is no longer massively tumbling me around and the waters have started to settle, I see myself differently. With more care, more support and regard, more tenderness, and thankfully, less pressure. I also see my build, my purpose work, and my spiritual contract with God differently.

Now, there is grace and space, room for my rhythm, room for me to exist outside of the call. I never intended to forsake my joy in the pursuing of my purpose, but I often unconsciously did - pushing and pressuring and pretending because I wanted to be “there.”

Now, my mantra and practice is “Joy in the journey. Joy in the journey. Joy in the journey.”

I had no idea the hard stuff was going to be the bridge between who I am and what my purpose work is.

I had no idea the hard stuff was going to bring me back to what I had been unknowingly fighting - my natural rhythm and building my business my way, according to my energy and my design.

I had no idea the hard stuff was going to help me feel clear in setting boundaries and BIG when I did.

I had no idea the hard stuff was going to birth all the energy courses, the identity offering, the refined website, the extensive ecosystem of everything I continued to create out of a time of stillness, grief, and chaos.

I had no idea. I only knew it was hard, that I had to keep going, and that I had to love myself even harder.

My build is mine. It’s my story. It’s my design. It’s my calling. It’s my purpose work. It’s my energy.

As is yours.

Whether you get there through hard stuff, rocky waves, or clear sailing, may you find joy in the journey.

warmly, Vanessa